Hateful Chains

The Problem Song

There are always songs that go through a long process and are problematic. Here's what happened with one of our's:

When we had made demos for three songs my guitarist/collaborator asked if I had any new ones. I said "yyyeeeeaaah... I might have one". But I thought: "Shit, I don't know", because that particular song was the first one that actually came to be, and I felt like it wasn't quite ready. It was more like a pop-song, with one or two twists perhaps, but not enough for my taste anyway. It was even in major key, mostly. But it had a cool structure, so I decided to give it a go.

We made a demo of it and even tried it in rehearsals. But then it turned out me and the guitarist had different opinions about musical issues, like can there be two subsequent second inversions of a chord, that is, where the bass plays the fifth of the chord. I thought it was just fine, because this isn't classical music anyway. But we changed some of the chords, and it sounded just about the same, maybe even more happy and major key. Next, we argued about structural issues, because he felt like the flow of the music stopped due to all these different parts I had put into it. "But I want this part, and this as well!" I argued, and knew at the same time he was right. He finally asked to have free hands to make the changes he felt were necessary. I gringed, but agreed. 

That was the hardest thing I have had to do music wise. Usually the final decisions have been mine, the structure, the melodies, even most of the guitars and basses. I have held the final vision of a song in my hands only. So it was hard to let go of my darling, even if it wasn't the best song I've ever written, and allow it to be re-structured and modified. Kill your darlings, and you might find a new way to approach your creation. 

What came of it just bugged me for a long time. I felt like the elements that gave it at least some twist and creepy feeling were stripped out and it was now purely a pop-song going slightly to the indie direction. We tried it a few times with the band, with a little different arragements. But it was actually the guitars and the general feel that bothered me. I had a problem with the song. It felt like it wasn't mine anymore. In retrospect, I think I was still going through the process of letting go.  I wanted to leave it for a while and maybe later come back to it. And so we did.

The song was sleeping for maybe six months. I tried to listen to it a few times and analyze what it was that bothered me. Now I think it was just different visions colliding, as does happen in the creative process. In a band everyone has a whole picture in their minds about every song and want to add elements they feel are part of that whole picture. It happens unconsciously most of the time. The thing is to decide whose whole picture is the final one. 

And the one who decides has to have ears to all these elements that the others are offering and be ready to grasp it, saying "That thing you just did with the toms, that's great! Let's use it". But also He/She has to have the vision of the song clear enough in his/her own head to be able to say no to the elements that don't fit into that vision. Open ears and open mind, but also courage to say no. And that has always been my problem, in many areas of life. But I'm learning, and a band is a great learning environment.

So, now that we were recording songs for real, I thought it might be time to take a look into this problematic song and see what comes out of it. The guitarist had been pondering on the song as well, so the time seemed ripe. I did a re-construction and added some parts that I felt had unnecessarily been left out in the previous version. The most important thing, in my opinion, was to add some twist to the guitar parts so that it wouldn't sound so happy all the time. We listened to my version together and talked and analyzed. And I was finally ready to let go.

We agreed to some changes to the guitars to make it slightly creepy, but I left it up to him to come up with the final melodies. I wanted slight changes to the bass line as well. We also agreed to keep the structure that he had made, and this time it didn't bother me even a tiny bit. I think it's due to the fact that I now got to be part of the deciding process. We will refine this one to perfection in rehearsals. It won't be an essentially Gothic song, but it will be very catchy, I promise!